Apolo-gize: to whom it may concern

FCUK, lets say it five times fast. I know, I know that it won’t matter, just as much as all the other things I’ve done and never ever apologized for.

But for the most part, I’m sorry.

I feel like I owe you an apology, because the next time I see you, I’ll probably do the same shit and not realize it until I come home to reflect my thoughts.

I over think our situation too damn much and it makes me wonder if I’m putting too much thought into something that shouldn’t be. Am I?

Why can’t I.. stop clinging onto you like you’re the last thing?

I realized that… we were supposed to grow apart eventually, but, why the fuck can’t I accept it just the way it is?

I didn’t expect later to be soon. I didn’t expect to feel this left behind. I didn’t expect to feel this again and again.

Why can’t I just be okay? Just for more than a minute, more than an hour, more than a day, more than a week,  and for most, more than a year.

Why can’t I just be alright? For more.. than I could ever last in any situation thrown right towards me.

I’m sorry for… everything.

fade right pass; you?

I hate I’s. I hate using them the most, but I feel like its the only thing I can write clearly. Kind of like, I think, I guess, I suppose. I am always second guessing myself. I just feel like I’m drifting so far away. Distance, damn the distance. What’s wrong with me?

I can’t stand this, I can’t stand fading again and again.